Still a work in progress

I hated the days when it was so hot I could taste my own salty sweat

it dripped into my eyes causing a sting.

While I stood blinded by sun, the mosquitoes biting my legs numb

Sucking me dry into a pruney structure.

Lifeless.

like the cocoons you crushed with your bare six year old fingers

the brown sludge leaking out with no permission granted.

the butterfly never knowing  the colors of its wings

the symmetry of his patterns.

I let the caterpillars crawl up and down my arms

Fascinated by their blue and yellow color scheme

Tracing the holes in the leaves they bit through

Not knowing if they would make it past a kindergartner’s curiosity.

I wanted more than anything to follow in their pattern

To change and fly away that moment when he held me down

and I could have sworn I said no

My only untainted gift taken without permission.

while I curled into a broken cocoon structure.

Damaged....the brown sludge leaking out.

The butterfly with the broken wings colors dulled

 it sleeps on my shoulder through the night.